Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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