it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
