:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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