Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
