Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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