STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
