Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She's the barista slut.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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