He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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