I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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