my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
