he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you š
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Some sorority went āDick or Treatingā at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
