my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
