he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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