I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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