Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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