I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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