twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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