He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
