i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
