There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
