why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
