Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think I sprained my soul last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
