Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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