i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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