So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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