did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
