her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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