so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
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STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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