So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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