My nipple is on Facebook.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
