i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
