What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
