I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
