With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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