She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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