His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize