I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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