We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
