omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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