Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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