i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
