Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize