So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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