I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
