why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
