glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
