I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize