As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
