I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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