The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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