omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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