You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
