If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
