Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
