i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize