I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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