We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
