if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
honey bunches of taint.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
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I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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