The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
