Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
