you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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