# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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