He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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